Defeating Perfectionism and Over-Responsibility Recordings

Perfectionism sounds so nice, besides so bookish, formal. If you wouldn’t know so much about it, you would assume that perfectionism must have a few problems but is basically a good thing. Who wouldn’t want to be close to perfect? Well, that is not what perfectionism is at all!

Perfectionism is a hyper-focus on some areas in life while neglecting other important parts. Like someone who would spend all his time buying and preparing food but would ignore cleaning the house, themselves, thinking about the money, friends, etc. Sounds like great meals but in a very messy setting. Or someone who would rebuild classical sports cars and ignore any other responsibilities in life. Her cars look amazing – I’m sure – but what about taking care of life?

But that’s not even all of the disaster. The recording is often so extreme that nothing is good enough. Writers not just polishing their texts but keep polishing the polish and never publishing anything because it’s still not good enough. Or fidgeting endlessly about details of details and so missing the deadline. So, also the areas of “expertise” get bad results.

It sometimes depends. You want your neurosurgeon to be extremely precise but only when it matters. But in general, perfectionism is a pattern that needs to be broken. It’s good enough. Let it go. It’s not that critical. There is no perfection. High time to be messy. Sloppy people get more done. What else is there to focus on? Please take over.

Another distress recording that gets much too good a press is chronic over-responsibility. It turns out that there are no chronic irresponsibility and responsibility recordings. Everyone takes responsibility. Let me explain.

People that are called chronically irresponsible take care of themselves first and for all. Society doesn’t value that, so calls them irresponsible. It is also annoying when someone will not move because they first feel like taking a session and then eating a meal and then having a shower…. As Harvey said: When it’s time to take out the garbage (who likes doing that?), take out the garbage. [Don’t first take a session about it. You’ll discharge while you do it – singing.] It’s good to take care of oneself – but in proportion – if you don’t want your surroundings to start closing in on you.

We should be completely selfish because then we would also take honor and pride in taking care of everything, including ourselves.

But to discharge a chronic irresponsibility recording is hard. I don’t feel like it. Why me? Maybe tomorrow. You need friends to get this done.

The opposite recording also exists. People who try to take care of everything and everyone, desperately dreaming of one day someone going to take care of them and to tell them that it’s enough. It’s very irresponsible not to eat, rest, sleep, exercise and discharge well enough but society encourages this kind of slavery to the needs of others.

As the old RC Scroll quotes the three rhetorical questions by Hillel: If I’m not for myself, who should be? If I’m only for myself, what is my life about? And if not now, when? The first step cannot be skipped.

This pattern is easier to get rid off since it’s so irresponsible to be over-responsible. Harvey allowed us to use patterns to get rid of patterns.